


Running Just as Fast as We Can

by PaddieCake



Series: Hargreeves Family Spaghetti Bowl of Fun [9]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Agnes calls Hazel 'tweety' and no one can tell me otherwise, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack (constantly), Dave accidentally punches Reginald, Dave also pushes Luther by accident, Dave dosen't like Hazel for obvious reasons, Diego can't be trusted not to time travel so he doesn't get to hold the Briefcase, Gen, Hazel and Pogo bonding, Hazel is a Hargreeves now, Hazel needs sugar, Klaus is Samara, Klaus is kind of a jerk but Hazel still kind of deserves it, Mild Gore, Mostly from ghosts, Non-Graphic Violence, Not major ones i don't think, Panic Attacks, Patch is in this now, Pogo knows things, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sort Of, The Hargreeves are dumb as heck, The Major Character Death is Klaus, Time Trav, Time Travel Fix-It, Time Travel Screw-it, What is anything anymore, also the Hargeeves fight, and Zombie Jesus, angst (maybe?), because like i don't know, but Hazel is chill, but I'm leaving out Raver Girl and Helen because it's too many characters right now, but I'm tagging to be safe, but actually tells them he knows things, but not with each other for once, enemies to frenemies, fluff (probably), more bickering, more questionable Hargreeves fashion, not really - Freeform, this is the part where things get more serious, well actually it's more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaddieCake/pseuds/PaddieCake
Summary: Hazel and Agnes were ransacked by the Commission , and Hazel comes to the Hargreeves for help.Or:The one where things go bananas, probably.Or:The one where Dave fights Hazel for about three minutes.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, The Hargreeves Family
Series: Hargreeves Family Spaghetti Bowl of Fun [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674742
Comments: 30
Kudos: 126





	1. A Visitor

**Author's Note:**

> Tags will be changed as the story progresses, and I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> Also I may have accidentally posted this with a dumb fake title and deleted it instead of just editing the title. I'm a genius.
> 
> Also this chapter is teeny, it's fine, don't make fun of it.

Five sat quietly in the living room, television humming faintly in the background as he poured over a book. 

It was the first time he was able to simply  _ enjoy  _ something.

It was nice. 

He could hear the sounds of minor construction upstairs as Dieog, Allison, and Vanya took to redecorating the house, and redoing some of the bedrooms.

Five was only convinced to agree when Vanya said she'd be in charge of his room. 

They were working on his room today, if Five remembered correctly. Or maybe Allison's.

He heard a knock on the door. Five didn't bother looking up as Grace answered the door. Some quiet whispers, and then footsteps he couldn't recognize, mixed in with the familiar clicking of heels.

Five closed the book carefully, looking up to see who the stranger was. 

"We have a bit of a problem." Hazel said without any bombast.

Five raised an eyebrow, looking at Hazel carefully, motioning for him to continue.

"Right." He muttered under his breath. "I saw someone carrying a Briefcase. Loitering outside my home." 

Five looked around, frowning deeply. "We were attacked a few months ago, if you could call it that, but we eliminated the problem quickly enough. I don't think The Commission is strong enough to be much of a threat."

"I thought so too, but Agnes and I came back from getting her engagement ring fitted and our house was completely ransacked, windows blown out, the works."

Five frowned deeply, stuffing his hands into his shorts pocket. "When's the wedding, then?"

We're thinking spring." Hazel nodded. "We're looking for aviaries, I'll send invitations when we pick a pla-"

Hazel's voice was cut off as someone came flying into the room, and punched him in the side of the face.

"Not again." Five muttered, watching as Dave and Hazel fought. He glanced over to see Klaus looking on with a mixture of confusion and awe on his face. "Can you call him off, Hazel was actually telling us something important."

Klaus sighed "Aw, come on. He tortured me for  _ hours _ ." Klaus said with a pout.

Five looked over at the two men now grappling on the floor, trying to get the upper hand, before conceding, "Two more minutes." 

Klaus clapped, watching the fight with utter rapture. 

"You don't think dad still has that Briefcase he mentioned, do you?" Five asked, after a minute.

Klaus pulled himself away from the fight, and scratched his chin. "I mean probably? We can ask mom or Pogo. I'm sure they'll know." He said with a shrug. 

Klaus sighed as the two minutes ended, putting two fingers in his mouth and letting out a loud whistle. 

Both men startled, tired and disheveled from their fight. 

"Thank you." Hazel said, eyeing Dave warily as he stood up, trying to straighten his clothes out. "Why do I always get jumped when I come to talk to you?" 

"You did shoot up our house, and try to kill me." Five said absently.

"Also you kidnapped and tortured my fiancé." Dave said as Klaus fussed over him, checking him for any injuries. "I'm fine, darlin'." He added softly, pulling Klaus into his arms and kissing his temple. 

"Huh? Oh, you. I felt pretty tortured by the end of that session, not going to lie." Hazel said. "One of the top three worst experiences I've had, maybe top two."

"What'd you do?" Five asked 

Klaus shrugged "Oh, you know, I just wasn't being very cooperative."

"We waterboarded him and he  _ thanked  _ us, because he was 'thirsty'... And the garrote." He added under his breath, shuddering a bit.

Klaus snorted, and Dave furrowed his eyebrows, saying something Five couldn't hear. Klaus nodded with a smirk on his face, and Dave buried his head into Klaus' shoulder, his own moving with laughter.

"That wasn't regular chocolate either, was it?"

"You pulled it out of a pocket  _ filled _ with drugs, not my fault you couldn't figure it might not  _ exactly _ be a Hershey bar." Klaus pointed out, turning around in his fiancé's arms to face them.

"Hey, man. I just wanted a sugary pick me-up." Hazel said, holding his hands up as if declaring his innocence. 

"Right, sure…" Dave muttered, squeezing Klaus gently. 

"Hey, look. I was just doing my job. It wasn't personal."

"Can we get back to what's important? The fact that the Commission is after us. Again." Five said, snapping his fingers to get their attention. 

Klaus sighed, leaning his head back. "Fine. What first?"

Five shrugged as if the answer was obvious.

"Find dad's Briefcase."


	2. A Brief Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hargreeves and Hazel go in search for a Briefcase.
> 
> Or:
> 
> The one where Hazel and Pogo bond a little?
> 
> Also:
> 
> The one where Klaus gets minor revenge for being tortured for like, a whole day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got away from me, but I like it. Once again my writing is getting away from me, but it's cool.
> 
> Still not sure how long this will be. I know where I want it to go, I just don't know how I'm getting there quite yet, whoops x3.
> 
> -
> 
> Mentions of various medical devices? Medical horror can be creepy so *shrugs*

"So your dad worked at The Commission, briefly ("ha, 'brief'"), and stole a Briefcase, and only used it to see the best way to raise you?"

"And failed." Five agreed with a grim nod.

"Miserably." Klaus supplied, trailing behind, stepping on Hazel's heels  _ completely _ by accident.

Hazel decided it was best not to comment on it, probably because when he turned to do just that Dave gave him a  _ look _ . One that made it clear there would be another fight if he so much as breathed wrong, and well… Hazel did have a wedding to plan. 

"And tried to kill you." He added, definitely not wincing as a combat boot didn't at all hit his ankle. 

"He did kill him."

"We think. The Commission revived me… kind of."

"Maybe you were only mostly dead." Klaus added, emphasizing his point with another kick.

Hazel wasn't crying, his eyes were just very very sweaty. 

"Well, I'm completely alive now."

"Oh, I know."

Hazel glanced over at Five who seemed to mostly be ignoring Klaus and Dave. He decided that was a good idea. "So where did you say this Briefcase was?"

"I didn't. But-" Five cut himself off as he knocked on a door. A creaking noise signaled that someone was moving, and the door opened to reveal a large chimpanzee… or a small Bigfoot?

Hazel was pretty sure Bigfoot didn't exist in this timeline. 

"Oh, well this is a pleasant surprise." He said smiling softly. He had a book under one arm, and a cane clutched in his other hand. He turned to Hazel with a raised eyebrow. "Although I don't think we've met before." 

"He's an… acquaintance. Hazel, this is Doctor Pogo." Five introduced. "I'm sorry we're bothering you, but we're looking for dad's Briefcase." Five said, with a poor attempt at a smile.

The chimp blinked in surprise. Hazel was still confused as to how he existed. He had read the book, after spending a day… talking to Klaus, but  _ seeing  _ the chimp in person… 

Maybe whatever happened to him us whatever the thing that made Giant-Shoe Man. "I'm not sure I know what you're referring to, your father had briefcases, yes, but-"

"Time traveling Briefcase." Klaus clarified "Yea big, uh… travels through time." His voice tapered off and gave a shrug.

Pogo let out a soft sigh. "I hoped not. I know of it, but he never told me where he kept it. It could be down in his lab, maybe. Come, we'll go look together." 

Pogo put his book away, then began to llead them to the lab.

Hazel was grateful the  _ completely  _ accidental attack on his heels subsided. "So your dad worked for the Commission, killed your fiancé, and has a secret science lab?"

"Sir Reginald was a very busy man." Pogo said, just a touch of sarcasm

"What Pogo means is he was an asshole who could time travel, and liked to experiment on his kids." Klaus supplied.

"Is that why you're so messed up in the head?" Hazel muttered. He winced as he felt a kick to his heels again.

"One reason of many." Klaus agreed. 

Pogo sighed "Master Klaus…"

Klaus jolted in surprise at the scolding tone. "What? What did I say that's so bad?"

Pogo raised an eyebrow. "There's hardly any reason to assault our guest." He said, glancing at Klaus' foot.

"I mean there  _ really  _ is." 

Pogo looked at him again, and Klaus sighed. He looked over at Hazel, eyeing him cautiously for a few seconds. "Yeah, alright. I'm done. But only because I don't want to scuff my boots." 

Hazel breathed a small sigh of relief, giving Pogo an appreciative look.

Hazel didn't mention that Klaus' boots looked very old and worn.

"Sorry my siblings are so immature." Five said, though he didn't seem particularly annoyed by Klaus' behavior. 

Hazel could understand that, he supposed. He was certainly not innocent. Even if the guy was nuts.

And even if his ankles were burning.

"I'm not the one wearing a shirt with a smiling peanut butter and jelly sandwich on it." Klaus muttered.

Five eyed Klaus' shirt, looking pointedly at the unicorn sitting in the middle of it, then down to its hem. "At least my shirt is the right length."

"His shirt is the  _ perfect _ length." Dave said, in mock outrage. 

Hazel looked over to Pogo, who had given a deep, bone weary, sigh as Five and Klaus bickered back and forth. 

Hazel ignored them, instead taking note of the directions and landmarks of the house… well mansion, really. They hadn't left the front room and bed rooms, but Hazel had to admit how awe-inspiring the size of the mansion was. 

Though well lived in for the most part, it seemed never ending, and after a point began to look abandoned.

Someone sighed as they walked past a large room, piled up mats in one corner, weights in another. Hazel was sure he saw crash test dummies, in another pile, all broken limbed. 

Another room, rust covered walls and torn up sandbags. 

They reached an elevator, albeit a small one, and Klaus made a surprised noise. "We have two elevators?"

Five agreed, letting out a surprised 'huh'. 

"This one we used to do experiments outside of… well…" He sounded apologetic, and Hazel couldn't help wonder why. "Especially when she was younger, it was way to keep tabs on your sister as well, without you children noticing."

Klaus muttered 'figures' under his breath.

Hazel frowned in confusion, which Five seemed to sense. "Vanya was-"

"Well we all were-" Klaus butted in

"But she was locked up in a-"

"He's such a bastard. " Klaus said with a sigh.

"Vanya, she wrote that book about you guys. It's how we figured out what was up with him." Hazel pointed to Klaus, who shrugged absently. Hazel noted how he seemed to be clutching Dave just a bit more tightly. 

"Yeah, well she has these po-"

"Should we really be telling him? I mean just because he  _ says _ he's not going to try and kill us doesn't mean he  _ won't _ ." Klaus pointed out.

Dave chewed on the inside of his cheek, eyes watching Klaus carefully. 

Five sighed softly "He didn't have to come here and warn us at all." Five pointed out. "And he's the one who tried to help clear Diego's name back in the old timeline." He looked Hazel up and down a moment, before shrugging absently "Besides, he and Cha-Cha were only the  _ second _ best, and Hazel knows that, right?" 

Hazel stared at the shark-like grin that spread across Five's face before nodding once "Exactly. I'm just trying to keep  _ my _ fiancé safe. You can understand that." He said carefully, looking towards Klaus and Dave. "I don't want the world to end any more than you do. And I don't want the Commission on my back."

Dave leant over to mutter in Klaus' ear. Klaus hummed in thought before nodding. 

"Fine,  _ fine _ . Fine." Klaus said, holding his hands up. "I'll be… nice or whatever."

"Thank you. And I'm… sorry for what I did to you. It wasn't the most enjoyable experience, I'll have you know."

Klaus stared Hazel then looked to Five, then Dave who simply shrugged, as if he didn't have an answer to whatever unspoken question Klaus was asking. 

"You… are… terrible at apologies." Klaus had stretched out his words, as if having trouble getting them out, or having a hard time trying to figure out what to say. 

Hazel frowned slightly, "Elaborate?"

Klaus rolled his eyes, lolling his head back slightly before letting out a huff. 

"Maybe don't say that torturing someone wasn't enjoyable for yourself." Five said, patting his arm in consolation. "Probably worse for the person being tortured."

"Huh. I guess you'd be right about that. I do apologize for the torture… and for saying I didn't enjoy it. This is new territory for me, and I hope you can understand that I'm being sincere." 

Hazel hoped he would be forgiven, or at least some sort of truce could be made. It's not like it was his fault anyway.

Even if he was the one who had bashed him in the head in the first place.

And locked him in a trunk for over an hour… 

And beat him… 

"Oh." Hazel muttered. "I guess I can see  _ why _ you're angry… Uh…"

"Right." Klaus said. "But no. I'll be 'civil' but that's about it." 

"Thank you." Five said with a nod, but Hazel was unconvinced. Dave still looked like he decidedly  _ wouldn't _ be civil. 

The toothy grin Hazel received from Dave clarified that for him. 

"Ahem." 

The four of them looked to Pogo, who looked back, then motioned to the elevator. "It's not large enough for all of us at once to go down, so I expect it to take you twenty more minutes to figure out-"

"Why don't I go down with you." Hazel said politely. While he might survive an elevator ride with Five, he was positive he was much safer with Pogo. 

Pogo, for his part, seemed impressed by how easily that decision was made.

They entered the cramped elevator, standing side by side quietly. Hazel opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to figure out what to say.

"Vanya was forced to suppress her powers for most of her life, and at one point kept her locked in a soundproof room." Pogo explained quietly.

"Oh." Hazel said with a frown. "So uh… If you don't mind me asking how exactly did you come to be… uh… well you know." Hazel asked, gesturing to Pogo, as if to explain his question.

Pogo gave him a withering look, and Hazel nodded slowly "Right, right." Hazel muttered, nodding. "Uhm… Well how long have you known this Reginald fellow?"

"A very long time."

Hazel nodded, sticking his hands in his pockets. "This isn't a set up to kill me, right? Because I'd understand, but I'm not interested in leaving Agnes a widow." He said, trying to laugh off his attempt at a joke. At the moment she was visiting a friend, while their own home was being cleaned up and Hazel was out. They were renting a nice hotel room, but Agnes didn't want to be alone right now. 

He thinks they went to a park to bird watch. He hoped so. 

"No, I'm just helping the children like they asked."

"You must have been real special to them when they were growing up, judging from that book at any rate."

Pogo frowned as the elevator doors parted and they exited. Pogo stalled a bit longer as he sent the elevator back up. "I wasn't as good to them as I should have been. Some of the children see it more than the others, but they seem intent on trying to forgive each other, and me, for past sins. It's a bit of a slow progress, though."

"Well that hardly seems fair. You're kind and caring. Doesn't sound like Reginald was."

"Less kind and more compliant, I'm afraid. And I still can't quite understand how the children can think so poorly of their father. I guess I could see the care he had for them in a way they can't." He sounded sad, as if he wished he  _ could _ . 

"Maybe you just can't see the way he hurt them the way they can? You seem very fond of him, maybe you're biased?" Hazel suggested.

"Without him I wouldn't even be here. I suppose the children don't see it that way… And I suppose I should be more understanding of that…"

The elevator dinged and the doors  _ swished _ open.

"-orns are much more mature than  _ sandwiches _ . And just because you don't understand the subtle complexities of Klaus' clothing doesn't mean it's stupid."

"His pants don't reach his ankles!" Five said, motioning to the capris Klaus was sporting.

"Hey, you're the one wearing cargo pants and flip flops! What is this, 2004?"

Dave glanced at Five's pants, frowning "I don't know, he looks really comfortable." 

Klaus sighed "It's because you're wearing the same thing."

"These are jeans and my shirt doesn't have anything on it." Dave pointed out. 

"Maybe  _ you _ have bad taste in clothing." Five said, smirking. 

Pogo let out a cough to get their attention. 

"Maybe we should look for the Briefcase?"

It, surprisingly, didn't take long. It had been sitting on a table covered in a dusty white drop cloth. What  _ was _ surprising was everything else hidden around the lab.

Hazel spotted at least three beakers full of strange glowing liquid, and a small case filled with surgical instruments.

Neither of the Hargreeves seemed surprised by their surroundings, but Hazel could tell Dave wasn't at all familiar with these surroundings, he seemed a bit horrified. 

Klaus glanced over at Dave and placed a hand on his hip, brushing a thumb over it gently. 

"You used to come down here?" Hazel asked.

Five glanced back, giving the man a shrug "We used to use the main elevator when coming down here."

"Thank Christ, that elevator is cramped as Hell." Klaus said with a shiver, finally grabbing the Briefcase off the table, and eyeing it carefully, handing it to Five.

"Huh, heavier than ours, they must have streamlined the technology." Five said, fiddling with the dials. 

"It's brown." Hazel said "The black looks nicer." 

Klaus nodded in agreement. "Anything else look useful?"

Five looked around, eyes glazing over a few machines, an EKG machine, and a blood pressure machine, and a few others with menacing wires curling around them. 

It gave Hazel the creeps. Five had to look about the age these kids would have been living with whatever testing their father had done. He would have been that age at one point. "Jesus." 

"There's nothing here." Five said, "Do you think there's anything here?" He turned to Pogo, who shook his head. 

"No, not that I can think of."

"Let's go then, we need to come up with a plan." Five said, blinking out of the basement in a flash of blue. 

Klaus and Dave headed into the elevator first, and as the doors closed, he saw Klaus pull Dave into a comforting hug.

Hazel swallowed anxiously as they both entered the elevator once it came back down, and quietly rode it up in suffocating silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've sort of been headcanon-ing Five as actively not blinking everywhere, to better bond with his siblings, but he wanted go finagle with the Briefcase a bit.
> 
> Also I feel like of the group, Dave and Hazel would be the most concerned, hence Klaus being the one to comfort Dave, and Five being nonchalant.
> 
> They went through Hell, but would be a little more blasé about it? Whereas Dave (and Hazel) are rightfully horrified. And Klaus is strong, he deals with quite a bit and is (at least post-Vietnam) very comforting towards his siblings, and I really like that.
> 
> I feel like Dave brought out a very selfless side of Klaus that was probably buried under fear and drug use (see: Klaus comforting Allison as kids). So I kind of like the idea of a dynamic where Dave tries to comfort Klaus, but his presence is very comforting to begin with so Klaus is more inclined to be the one to comfort Dave? If that makes sense x3.


	3. A Plan of Sorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Dave is still mad at Hazel.
> 
> Or
> 
> The one where Five has terrible taste.
> 
> Also
> 
> The one where Hazel moves into the Hargreeves Mansion because I've lost control of this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anymore x3. I'm just coasting along at this point, I've lost control of the story and characters, I'll try and reel them back in a bit xD.

Dave was pacing back and forth in the kitchen, hands in his pockets. Dave was… annoyed. And very uncomfortable with having Hazel in his family's home. 

Klaus was looking for his other siblings, leaving Dave to stew in his emotions while Five and Hazel talked quietly about the Briefcase. 

Klaus reassured him that it was fine, that he was fine, and acted that Dave of all people needed comfort. Needless to say Dave was unimpressed.

He felt a hand touch his arm and he jolted out of his thoughts. "Oh, Patch, hey." He said, smiling softly.

"You ok?" She asked, moving to put on a pot of coffee.

Dave looked around, Hazel and Five were still talking. "Yeah, I'm… I don't know."

Patch smiled softly. "I've been dealing with Hargreeves bullshit for awhile, and Klaus is a lot more open than Diego is. The boy doesn't shut up." She said with a laugh. "Just talk to him." Patch suggested, leaning against the counter.

"That's the thing. He's just… fine? I ask him to talk to me about things, but I think I'm more upset by the shit he's been through than he is. It's frustrating, when I try to be comforting but he ends up trying to make me feel better? Their dad was a real bastard, you know?"

Her face softened a bit, letting out a sigh, "Yeah, yeah I know… But the way they're trying to communicate and talk to each other? I mean maybe he just doesn't feel the need to." Patch said with a smirk. "Maybe he is fine."

Dave frowned, "Yeah, I guess. I just… I want to be able to be there for him…"

Patch stood there silently for a moment, thinking. "I don't know." She said with a frown. "I think it's just something they're used to… As messed up as that is. They seem to know their childhood, and everything, was messed up, but, well they seem to have an understanding that there isn't much they can do about it. 

"Diego used to just repress shit until he exploded, but now he's going days between calling Luther an asshole." 

Dave gave her a small smile.

"Everyone's coming down, your room is looking real boring, Five." Klaus exclaimed, practically skipping into the kitchen, Ben trailing behind him with a book in his hands.

Dave felt his body melt as Klaus draped himself along his back and felt his fiancé's chin dig into his shoulder. It was oddly comforting, despite the sharp pain it caused. "You ok?" He asked softly.

Klaus turned his head to look at him, sending a sharp pain through Dave's shoulder "Yeah, of course." Klaus had a dopey grin on his face, smacking a wet kiss on his cheek. 

"It's not boring, it's minimalistic." Five butt in.

"Your walls are beige, bro, it's pretty boring." Diego said as he came in, beige paint splattered on his sweater.

Dave wondered how you could go around painting rooms in spandex and a turtle neck, but when he had asked Diego, he just claimed it was leather.

It definitely wasn't leather. 

"They're eggshell, not beige." Five pointed out, setting the Briefcase on top of the table. 

"Wow, such a huge difference." Diego muttered.

"Well eggshell is much closer to white, annnd… I'm shutting up." Allison said, catching the glare Diego sent her. 

"It suits you, anyway." Vanya added, with Luther coming in behind her.

"You know, seeing you all together is really quite intimidating." Hazel said. 

Dave couldn't help but agree, no matter how much he hated to. 

"What's this asshole doing here?" Diego asked, pulling out a knife and not so subtly stepping in front of Patch.

"You couldn't tell them what was happening?" Five asked, looking at Klaus with such utter confusion Dave couldn't help but laugh.

Klaus stood up straight, shrugging absently. "What? This is way funnier." He admitted. "Long story short he's helping us with a Commission issue… A… commissue… Commisituation? Commiseration! Wait no that's a real wormphack! Why?!" Klaus asked, eyes wide as he stared at the knife now embedded in a wall. 

Diego looked up at the ceilings trying to appear innocent.

"Anyway, we found dad's old Briefcase, and we think it still works just fine, Hazel and Agnes are going to be staying here, and we'll be able to help each other out if the Commission does attack us again. You wouldn't happen to know about any of their plans?" 

Dave realized Five was asking him, and he frowned. "No, not at all. They didn't tell me anything." He said, frowning. "I mean everything I know I told you guys already." He said. "I was just told to come here and, well."

"But wait, why aren't you angry with him?" Hazel asked, frowning.

"Because he and Klaus were already dating before he was hired." Luther said, crossing his arms. 

"And he was really bad at it." Diego added. 

Dave was a bit hurt by that, but he couldn't exactly argue. Also they had all spoken at length about, well, everything, before they had been properly ok with him. 

Diego and Ben had been the quickest to accept him, not even questioning him. But Dave understood, he'd have been the same. 

Hazel frowned "How did you know each other?"

"Can we focus on the plan?" Ben asked, not looking up from his book. "Commission is after us, they attacked the asshole over there ("Hey!"), we have dad's old Briefcase, and we plan on using it for what, exactly?"

Everyone looked at Ben, but all he did was flip the page in his book.

"If they attack us we can take them on a wild goose chase, make it impossible for them to track us. This Briefcase isn't on their radar." Five said.

"So where does he come in?" Luther asked, nodding towards Hazel. Hazell, for his part, seemed to be scrutinizing Luther, and Dave felt a flash or anger run through him.

"Hey, weren't you… you know, big-"

Dave jolted the table with his knee, distracting the man enough so he didn't finish his sentence. "Thought we were focusing on this plan, yeah?" 

Dave felt Klaus' hand rub gentle circles into the back of his neck. 

"What? I'm just wondering if it was a time travel thing, or?"

Luther blinked and shook his head "No, a science thing…" he said with a shrug.

Patch sighed, rubbing her face "Can we stay on track? It's like herding cats, I swear." She muttered.

"Hazel comes in because he's worked at the Commission, and he doesn't want to die anymore than we do." Five said. "Which is why I'm extending an offer to have him and Agnes stay here until we can make sure we aren't at risk of being tracked and killed. The more capable fighters we have, the better." 

"Who's Agnes?" Vanya asked, after a moment. "Wasn't your partner named Cha-Cha?"

"She was a work associate, Agnes is my wife to be. She enjoys watching birds and making doughnuts."

"Wait, the woman who works at Griddy's? She used to give us free hot chocolate." Allison said softly.

Diego let a fake cough, and Ben snorted.

"Uhm, Allison?" Luther said gently. "You uh… you rumored her to do that."

Allison blinked, letting out a small 'oh'. "I'll have to apologize." 

"Well that would be nice… Are we sure this is the best option?" Hazel asked, eyeing everyone carefully. 

"No one's going to hurt you, because we're all civilized adults who know better." Five said.

"I'll help keep the idiots in line." Patch agreed, ignoring Diego's shocked face.

"He killed you!" Diego said "I'm not going to be civil."

"I'm still alive, Diego. And I can handle myself."

"And Cha-Cha is the one who shot you…" Hazel added.

"That tracks." Klaus muttered, playing with Dave's hair absently. 

"My point is, I'm not dead, and from what I understand I'm not liable to be killed by you a second time, so I'm not too worried." Patch said.

Diego sighed, rubbing his face. "Fine, but I don't like it. At all."

"Neither do I." Dave added.

"You don't have to like it, you just have to deal with it. But I don't think we'll have to worry." Five said. He looked to Klaus with a silent question. With an absent shrug, Five seemed to think that was good enough.

"Ok, then. I'll go with Hazel to pick up Agnes, someone can help mom set up a room for them." Five said, handing the Briefcase to a mildly confused Klaus, who put it down gently on the table. 

Diego moved to fiddle with it, and Klaus slapped his hand away and just clutched it to his chest. 

Five rolled his eyes, grabbing Hazel's shirtsleeve to pull him out of the kitchen. 

"I should let Lottie know what's happening, she's not prepared for this, yet." Vanya muttered, running a hand through her hair.

"Yeah." Luther agreed with a nod. 

"You two are ok?" Allison asked, first to Klaus, then to Patch. 

"I'm fine, I'm not the one who actually dealt with this, you know?" Patch said.

"It's fine, I think he's afraid of me anyway." Klaus said with a grin. "Besides, Dave'll protect me, right babe?"

Dave smiled softly, "Of course." 

Allison shook her head with a fond smile. 

"Do you think Agnes will make us doughnuts for breakfast tomorrow?" Ben asked.

Luther gave Ben a questioning look. "Don't be rude, she's a guest, guests don't cook, right? We've never had guests…"

"Not usually." Allison agreed.

Ben blinked in surprise "Oh, huh…"

"Oh. I bet she and mom will get along really well, though." Vanya said brightly.

Diego blinked. "She always did seem really nice. Mom could use friends." He said with mild surprise. "I hope they get along." Diego said.

Patch laughed a bit, rubbing his back "I'm sure they'll get along fine." She said. "Let's go find her to get a room set up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is horrible it's because I... lost control it's fine. X3.


	4. An Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where the Hargreeves make dumb as heck bets.
> 
> Or:
> 
> The one where things actually get serious, oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the beginning of a plot line, have fun folks!

"I know, but things are a little crazy right now. It's probably best you stay away for a little while. If I don't call you just assume I'm time traveling. No, no, of course I'd want you to come with u- I swear you're worse than Klaus, anyway no… Yeah, ok, I'll talk to you when I can, bye." 

"Lottie?" Luther asked, startling Vanya from her thoughts. 

"Jeez you scared me. Yeah, I was just letting her know what was going on." She said. "Though I doubt it'll matter."

"The time travel and all that…" Luther agreed. 

The sound of the front door opening and shutting signaled the return of Five. The sound of wheels echoed into the hall, and carried on upstairs. 

"This'll be interesting." Vanya said with a smirk. 

\--

It wasn't. Whatever Vanya had thought would happen, hadn't. Agnes was sweet, and she and mom spent hours baking in the kitchen and talking about birds, Hazel mostly ambled about the house, helping with redecorating one day, spending time reading the next. 

It was so quiet and peaceful, and Vanya was, to say the least, a little disappointed. She and Klaus had an ongoing bet to see how long it would take for Hazel to get dragged into a fight, but so far any attempts, both intentional and not, had failed miserably.

Vanya knew Klaus was asking Diego to start them too. 

"Why do you even want them to fight?" Five asked, walking around the kitchen, making a sandwich. Grace was upstairs cleaning while Agnes went to buy more baking supplies.

It made Vanya question who went shopping when they were kids.

"Food delivery truck." Ben said, walking over to the fridge.

Vanya hadn't realized she said that out loud.

"Klaus and Diego used to have a crush on the truck driver when we were like… ten, so they used to talk about her a lot."

"I've never seen a delivery truck come by before?" Vanya asked, looking towards Five who shrugged. 

"It used to come in the middle of the night, like, one or two in the morning." Ben shrugged. He pulled out a Tupperware container and opened it to see what was inside. "Nice." He said, walking over the microwave to heat up his find.

"Klaus stayed up late to see a cute truck driver?" Five asked, raising an eyebrow. "No wonder he was always so tired."

"Less wanting to stay up late, and more being unable to sleep. Didn't really get it until after I died, but." He shrugged as the microwave beeped, and the smell of spaghetti wafted through the air.

"Ah." Five muttered, spreading more peanut butter on his sandwich. "So why do you want our brothers to fight with Hazel?"

"Because it should have happened by now." Vanya said. "I don't want it to be _serious_ , I just want it to happen."

"I wouldn't mind seeing Hazel getting beat up, not for nothing." Ben agreed. He looked at the strange faces Vanya and Five gave him. "What? I can be petty." Ben said.

"You used to be so nice." Five lamented letting out a small tsk.

Ben pouted, purposely slurping a spaghetti noodle.

"You all really do fight about everything, huh?" Hazel said walking into the kitchen. The Hargreeves stared at him awkwardly. "I'm not fighting because I don't see the point, for the record. And I'm trying to earn some semblance of trust. I am putting Agnes' life in your hands as well."

Vanya glanced at the table, scratching at it with a fingernail. "I'll… call off the bet." She said with a sigh.

"Shit." Ben muttered. "Well now _I_ owe Klaus money." He sighed.

Vanya's head snapped towards Ben. "You made a bet with Klaus on what?"

He shrugged, taking another forkful of spaghetti. "He bet me that you'd probably cave and not want to keep the bet going."

"What if he lost to the both of us?"

Five snorted. "He bet me that he _would_ lose to both of you, said it would be easy money. He owes me fifty bucks now." 

\--

Vanya was on the phone with Lottie when she heard a loud rumbling sound. "Uh. I have to go." She said, hanging up the phone.

"Vanya! That wasn't you, right?" Allison asked, nearly flying into the room. "I saw blue flashes but it wasn't Five or Klaus."

"No, I was hoping it was just something outside." She said, flinching at the sound of gunshots.

"Definitely inside." Five said, appearing in a flash of blue. He was panting, and his hair was mussed up. "They're in the courtyard, Diego and Luther are fighting them. They're… I don't know, they have powers like us. One of them does, anyway."

"There's more than one?" Vanya asked, worry on her face.

"At least two, one seems to have strength to rival Luther, the other hasn't used their powers yet if they have them."

A loud, thunderous clap echoed around the house. "That _isn't_ me." Vanya promised. 

"We know. I'll go get the others." Five said before blinking out of the hallway. 

Vanya and Allison raced outside. Luther was grappling with a large figure whose face was obscured by a balaclava. Diego, on the other hand, was fighting a woman, face also covered, who easily dodged every knife thrown her way, and matched him blow for blow.

Vanya immediately stepped in, concentrating on the sound of her breathing and using it to push the assailants away from her brothers.

"Thanks, sis." Diego said, pulling Luther back far enough so they could catch their breath.

The two strangers looked at each other, chest heaving. Vanya watched them carefully, focusing in on them. "Of course."

"Where's Five?"

"I was getting Klaus and Ben." Five said, blinking behind them. "How are we doing?" 

Vanya heard the gun go off, focusing in on the sound waves it produced. She pushed, pushed, pushed until it combusted, a small, controlled explosion. The shooter screamed loud in surprise, and their partner rushed forward, Vanya _pushed_ again, hair whipping around her.

The bullet had just barely missed Five, who jumped out of the way, landing on the larger of the two's back, wrapping his arms around their neck, squeezing it tightly. 

Vanya watched him hold on for a few moments before he was thrown off, blinking just in time to avoid smashing into the side of the Academy.

A crack of thunder, and rain began pouring from the sky.

"Not well." Five concluded, panting as he took refuge behind Luther.

The woman raced towards Allison, tackling her to the ground. Allison rolled the person off of her.

"Where are Klaus and Ben?" Luther asked, as Diego threw a knife after knife towards the larger attacker. 

"Right here!" Klaus said, racing towards Allison and landing on the back of her opponent. He completely dwarfed the woman, but she hadn't fallen yet.

"I heard a rumo-" the woman turned around and slammed her back, and Klaus, into Allison, the three of them landing in a pile.

A long pink tentacle whizzed by, grabbing the woman and holding her aloft. She struggled against Ben, who was careful not to tear her apart.

A gunshot echoed through the courtyard, startling the entire group. Another one, and a third.

Vanya felt the sound swirl around her, and she pushed it forward, knocking the larger figure back further and further away.

She heard shouting, and suddenly an arm around her waist, a hand around her head, the noise around her fading. She focused on her breathing, the pulse in the veins of whoever was holding her.

"-osing control! Taking her ins-"

"No!"

"Sssh, you're fine, but you're not in control anymore."

Vanya struggled against the arms holding her, not catching whatever Klaus said. "No! No, no, no!" The arms were gone, Vanya stumbled to the ground, jolting her enough to focus on her surroundings. Diego was holding out two hands, crouched low but non-threatening. Vanya took a shuddering breath, looking down, covered in mud. "Diego?"

"Yeah, it's ok, you nearly skewered Luther, though." Diego said lightly. 

Vanya swallowed, looking towards Luther, bleeding from his arm, towards the larger assailant who was picking the woman up off the ground. Ben was doubled over, panting. She looked up to the windows, Dave, Hazel, and Grace standing at the windows, each holding a rifle. She spotted Patch standing in the doorway holding her own gun.

"I'm so sorry Lu-" 

"I'm fine, but you should go inside, we need t-"

"I can still fight!" Vanya said, her heart rate and the wind both picking up.

"We know." Diego said "we just wanted to make sure you didn't hurt yourself. Are you good?"

Vanya thought a moment before shaking her head, all she could do was sit there and listen to all the small sounds permeating the air.

A flash of blue and she was inside _somewhere_ , a soft hand rubbing her back gently. Another pushing a warm cup into her hands.

She could hear more shouting, more gunfire. Flashes of blue, talking. A loud bang, the sound of dozens of feet. More shots, whimpering, more blue, a hand on her shoulder, a voice coaxing her to breathe.

Breathe, Vanya could breathe, she could focus on that, slowly she calmed down, eyes focusing properly, the room wasn't as loud as it seemed. She heard someone ask a question but she didn't hear. She simply nodded and the next thing she knew, she was surrounded in blue.

When she looked up, she saw nothing but ash. The only thing she heard was a loud, keening sound, full of fear and anger. Picking it apart, focusing on the syllables of a word lost in horror she heard 'no'. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you can't tell I suck at chapter titles, and yet I don't want to leave them unnamed, weird! X3


	5. A Detour and a Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hargreeves, Hazel, and Patch spend a day in the Apocalypse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still have no idea how many chapters this wi be.
> 
> Also thank you for all the kudos and comments so far, I really appreciate then and I never expected any of this to go on as long as it has ❤❤

"Shit, shit, shit." Diego muttered, still holding on to Vanya as Five collapsed to the ground.

Klaus knelt down, hands hovering over a distraught Five. "I don't know if I should touch him." Klaus said, the ground around them shaking erratically as Vanya continued focusing on Five's screams.

"Maybe it'll let him know he isn't alone?" Allison asked, crouching down, placing a hand on Five's cheek. "Hey, Five, you're ok. We can get out of here, I promise." Allison said softly. Klaus tapped his cheek lightly, looking over his shoulder to see Dave standing there stock still.

"Shit.  _ Shit _ ." Klaus muttered. 

"Take care of Five." Luther said before moving towards Dave. He carefully took the gun he was still holding from him, and spoke to him gently.

In the distance somewhere Hazel groaned, Diego's head shot up, spotting Patch making her way towards him. "I'm fine." She told Diego, who nodded, focusing back on trying to calm Vanya.

Ben was talking to her gently, but it seemed to only cause more tremors. Diego made a motion to shush him. He caught on quickly enough, nodding as he looked around for what, Diego couldn't be sure.

"Come on, Fivey, I  _ know _ we're back here, but it's all of us, we're alive." Klaus said gently. 

"We have the Briefcase, we can leave whenever we need to." Allison said, placing it in Five's hands. It seemed to get his attention, he blinked slowly, glazed eyes looking down at his shaking hands.

He took in a shuddering breath, trying to relax through the heaving sobs that wracked his body. 

"I… I failed." He said, voice hoarse.

"No, no, you didn't. We used the Briefcase to escape some Commission agents. We can get out of here whenever we want." Allison explained. 

Five swallowed, nodding. "Ok, ok…"

Klaus looked back, but Luther wasn't having much luck with Dave, Klaus motioned him over. "Luther's coming. I'm going to check on Dave, ok?"

Five gripped at Klaus' arm tightly, shaking his head violently. "He's dead."

"I'm fine, I promise, see, I'm right here." Luther said, taking Five's hand off Klaus gently and squeezing it in his own.

"Ow, you asshole, that hurt!" Five snapped, the sudden pressure snapping him out of his thought for a moment.

"Oh, uh, sorry." Luther awkwardly pulled his hand away, but Five didn't seem willing to let go of him completely.

Klaus squeezed Five's shoulder before rushing towards Dave.

"Where's Vanya?" Five asked, looking around. Before his eyes could focus on anything a loud gunshot rang out.

Klaus flinched, hands covering his ears, though he still seemed more focused on Dave. 

Diego held on to Vanya as her powers raced forward, barely visible soundwave slamming into a building in the distance. She collapsed into Diego's arms, body exhausted. 

Everyone turned to look at Ben who was still holding onto the gun. The ground had stopped shaking at least.

"What the Hell was that for?" Patch asked incredulously, still hovering over Hazel, though he was getting up now.

"It worked at the Icarus." He said with a shrug. 

"Right, but we have two war vets and an assassin, so-"

"I'm fine." Klaus and Five said at the same time. Dave was slowly starting to come to, and Klaus pulled him into a tight hug. 

"We need to find shelter, recuperate, and go back." Five said, standing up on shaky legs, helped up by Allison and Luther. 

"What if they track us here? Or they find the others?" Hazel asked. 

"Grace can keep Agnes and Pogo safe." Ben assured. "She isn't in danger." 

"I just need a break, then we can just take this back home." Five said, knees buckling underneath him. Luther picked him up easily, and cradled him in his arms. "Shouldn't take longer than a day or two. Maybe a third, let them think we're gone, ran away, gave up. It can't be the same person running things."

"We'll head to the library, then?" Luther asked.

The members of the group still awake nodded and they headed out. Ben grabbed the Briefcase, Luther gave Five to Diego, in exchange for Vanya, and they set out.

The walk was long, and hot. The sun beat down on them as they trudged through the barren wasteland of the Apocalypse.

"You know what I could use?" Klaus asked, arm wrapped Dave's waist, twenty minutes into the walk. "A, wait for it, drum roll…. An  _ umbrella.  _ Well a parasol, but you know. Something shady would be nice.

"Oh, what if when we get to the library I use some of the books to build a castle. Never got to build a sand one before, but books are probably easier, right? They're already like teeny walls."

Dave let out a soft chuckle and Klaus grinned widely. "Or we can build a little book city? Oh, a parade of books! Maybe we can find some arts and crafts supplies and decorate it. I was thinking confetti and glitter, but I know you like your  _ paisley _ , so maybe we can combine the tw-"

"Do you ever shut up?" Hazel snapped "on and on about  _ nonsense _ . We have more important things to worry about. It's somehow  _ worse _ than last time." He said rubbing his forehead. 

"Well I could if I wanted to." Klaus said with a shrug. "I just don't… Anyway, maybe we can even give the castle those turret things? Bet we could find some stuff to do that, yeah?" 

"You don't find this annoying?" Hazel asked Diego.

  
  


He  _ was _ annoyed, but also pretty thankful for the distraction, he turned to Patch who was smirking at Klaus' antics. He took a moment to look around them, just to see nothing. "Nah, he's been worse."

"-pier-mâché? Bet they have glue. I've never  _ done _ it, but-"

"I have, it's fun." Dave said softly. "But glitter is a terrible idea, you'd be a mess, darlin'." 

Klaus grinned, squeezing him gently. "Hardly the first time I've been covered in glitter, Dave."

Hazel sighed. The entire city was on fire. The world, he supposed, and they were discussing nonsense. 

"No, yeah, he's right, that's a terrible idea." Diego said piped up, shifting Five in his arms a bit. "Keep him away from the glitter." 

"He'd be a human disco ball." Allison agreed. "Scratch that, we'd all be disco balls."

"Oh come on, I'd look  _ fantastic _ covered in glitter." He said with a wink to Dave. "You think so."

"Ah, you're beautiful regardless, darlin'." 

"More beautiful if you aren't trailing glitter everywhere." Luther snorted. He was trying hard not to look at the destruction that surrounded them. Piles of molten scrap metal, pillars of crumbled buildings.

Dave snorted, as Klaus let out a gasp in mock offense. "So very rude, Luther!" 

Hazel let out an annoyed groan. "Aren't you guys at all concerned about the shit we're in? Should we be talking about papier-mâché and glitter?"

"Of course. We already have a plan and have nothing else to talk about." Luther pointed out. "Recuperate, travel back, try and stop them. Might as well talk about arts and crafts."

"How do we stop them? The Commission is huge." Hazel said.

Ben turned to look at him, "No, we don't, but we have to try. Five blew it up once, and there's more of us, and we're strong. Whatever you want to do is fine, but tell us now." 

"What're you trying to say?"

"I'm not trying to say anything. I  _ am _ saying. You're the only one who's been with them long enough to have an idea of what they're like besides Five, we need your help whether you like it or not.  _ But _ if you  _ don't _ want to help, tell us now." Ben said. "But don't start picking on us."

The others slowed to a stop, watching Ben and Hazel carefully. 

"I just prefer silence during tense, emotional situations."

"Well, stop talking then." Luther said, slowing to a halt at the half-standing library. 

Vanya shifted in Luther's arms, eyes slowly blinking open. Fear flashed across her face, and she tried to wriggle out of Luther's grasp.

"Oh no, no, I'm sorry, I did it, I didn't mean to."

"You didn't, Vanya you  _ didn't,  _ the Briefcase sent us here by mistake, you're fine." Luther said gently, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You lost  _ some _ control earlier, but not enough to do this. I promise." 

Vanya stood there, small as she could make herself, and slowly stumbled towards Luther, who immediately enveloped her into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for, promise." Allison said, rubbing her back gently.

Klaus patted her head, nudging her foot with his. "Let's get inside, we'll be fine."

"How's Five?"

"I'm fine." He muttered from Diego's arms. "Let me sleep, I'll send us back when I'm more well rested."

Diego had to admit he much preferred a Five who knew when to rest, over one who worked himself to near death.

It helped, he guessed, that everyone else was exhausted.

He put Five down gently, and Vanya all but collapsed next to him, putting her head in her knees. Within minutes both of them were asleep, breathing gently.

"I'm sorry." Hazel said suddenly. "I… I'm tired, and low on sucrose. I  _ want _ to help. I just got used to not having any kind of missions, or assignments, but I shouldn't be taking my frustrations out on you guys, I'm sorry."

Klaus tilted his head, looking at Hazel. "Well thank you." 

"We should go look for provisions for the night." Luther said, standing up. His jacket was gone, revealing a loose tank top.

Vanya and Five were now smothered in a large jacket.

"I'll uh… I'll stay here." Dave said, swallowing. "I don't think I uh… I'm sorry." He said, rubbing his face.

Klaus moved, cupping Dave's face in his hands, "No, it's ok. You'll stay here and watch over Vanya and Five, it's fine." He said softly. "Do you want me to stay?" 

Dave shook his head "No, no. I'm fine, just hard to look at." He murmured, "You're ok?"

Klaus smiled, pressing a kiss on his forehead. "I'm fine, promise. We'll be back soon."

Dave nodded, taking one of their rifles and weighing it in his hands. Klaus watched him fiddle with it for a minute before grabbing a rifle of his own, and turning to the others. 

"So we'll go out in pairs." Luther said, looking at the group. "We should avoid the Academy if we can, so that'll leave three other routes to go."

"Allison and I will go east." Luther said, looking up at the sun. 

"We'll go south? There's some stores that way." Diego said, turning to Patch.

"Great, so you two will take north." Luther said to Ben and Klaus. "Don't go more than ten blocks, we'll meet back here before dark." Luther said. "We're only gonna be here a couple of days." 

Klaus nodded "So, Hazel, you coming with?"

He seemed to mull it over, glancing at the group. "I think I would prefer to stay here." He said, glancing at Dave, and then the group of five Hargreeves and Patch. "I'll see what I can scavenge nearby, besides I can provide back up for Dave over here."

"Alright, be careful." Allison said, focusing on Dave. He nodded

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Klaus called before the six of them set off, glancing back once more at Dave before setting off.

Ben and Klaus were the first pair back, only an hour and a half later, each carrying a bag of supplies, some snacks, mostly water bottles they managed to save. 

Dave was slumped up against the wall, chest moving slowly as he slept, Five already up and looking over the Briefcase.

"How're we doing?" Klaus asked, tossing his bag to the ground.

"My head is pounding." Five said nonchalantly, promptly getting beaned in the head with a packet. "You look like shit."

Klaus snorted, rubbing his face.

"Well we found a drug store still standing." Ben said.

"Which would have been fine, because I've been doing well, but my powers slipped. Not fun." Klaus muttered.

"You ok?"

Klaus nodded. "Took me a few minutes to get them to go away, but I'm fine." 

"Twenty minutes." Ben said quietly.

Five hummed, nodding. "Dave was asleep when I woke up, Hazel was here, just went off to 'relieve' himself." Five said, watching Klaus carefully.

"Yeah, neither of us slept well last night, I'm not surprised." He muttered, settling down next to Dave. "How's Vanya?"

"She's been in and out, but I think she's ok."

"We got some stuff, cans of tuna, some candy." Ben said, rummaging through the bag.

Five reached over and plucked a can of tuna out of the bag and a bottle of water. "The Briefcase seems to be working fine, nothing odd that I can see."

Klaus nodded, eyes slipping shut.

As the sun rose, so did the Hargreeves, Hazel, and Patch. Glaring through the broken windows of their base camp. 

Five looked around at the groggy group. He waited for everyone to wake up properly, ate some food, drank some water.

Vanya was leaning against Ben for comfort, thankfully feeling much better.

"Alright everyone, ready?"

Everyone grabbed hands, forming a circle as the Briefcase was activated.

They landed in Reginald's laboratory. 

"Weird place to take us." Diego muttered.

"Probably calibrated strangely." Five said.

They grinned excitedly at each other before the sound of alarm bells.

"What is that?" Dave asked, hands over his ears.

"Those are mission bells." Vanya said softly, eyes wide.

"Elaborate." Hazel said, looking around.

"Dad disconnected those ages ago." Luther said "After Allison left, I think."

Klaus nodded slowly.

"I hear footsteps. N-not coming this way, but running." Vanya said, staring at her siblings. "Guys…"

"How will the Umbrella Academy ever become an effective crime deterrent if we can't even leave the house on time for missions?" A voice bellowed.

Five looked down at the Briefcase. 

"Shit."


	6. A Hell of a Timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen, time travels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to break each trip down into separate chapters, but I couldn't think of anything, sorry x3.

Five had no idea how they ended up so far off course, but the fact remained that they were not only back in time, but so far back in time they were in the same house as their younger selves. 

"Why did it take us back this far?" Patch asked, looking at Five.

"It must be faulty." Five said, jaw ticking in anger. "It's been out of use for who knows how long, at least since you all started leaving, I'm sure." He said, looking toward siblings.

"It  _ is _ an older model, one I've never seen, that's for sure." Hazel said, frowning. 

"Do you remember what the date was of whichever mission this was?" Five asked.

"There were so many. How are we supposed to know which one it is?" Allison asked.

Klaus turned to face Luther expectantly. He looked at Klaus with confusion and a little hurt. "What? How am I supposed to know?"

"You're the one who was so into this shit, how do you not know?" Diego asked.

Luther rolled his eyes "Just because I was… zealous about our training and missions doesn't mean I remember everything about them."

Five groaned, rubbing his face. Vanya grabbed his arm, tugging it gently. "I hear footsteps coming." She said quietly. "Pogo, I think."

"Grab hold of each other." Five said, teleporting them outside of the building once they did. They could see the younger version of themselves trailing into the car.

"Wait, is that one you?" Dave whispered, point to the one trailing behind, tall and lanky compared to his brother.

"Yeah, and little Ben, aww. We were so cute. Can we kidnap ourselves?" Klaus asked, looking to Five.

"That would mess up the timeline." Hazel said, frowning. 

"That's kind of the point." Five said with a shrug. He seemed to mull it over for a second before shaking his head. "No, it's a bad idea." 

Klaus sighed "Oh well."

"I don't know what's worse, a Klaus raised by Reginald Hargreeves, or a Klaus raised by another Klaus." Diego said.

"Who was still raised by Reginald Hargreeves." Klaus piped up. 

"Focus! We need to find the date." Five said, looking around for a news stand. He sighed in relief, whipping the paper open, and scanning the page for a date. "2003, September 15th. That's… close."

"Yeah only sixteen years and a month off." Klaus laughed. 

"I may be able to get away with not calibrating it. Give me a minute." Five muttered, playing with the locks on the Briefcase. "If I set it for the same amount of time, but for sixteen years in the  _ future _ … Ok, let's go." Five said. 

Everyone grabbed hold once more. 

Five flipped the switch on the Briefcase.

Nothing.

"Oh come on!" Hazel said, raising an annoyed hand in the air and letting it slap against his thigh. 

Five growled, flipping the locks open again, and nothing happened. Again.

"Ok… So it's not working, Fi-"

"No shit, Number Four!" Five snapped. He let out a frustrate sigh, gently kicking the Briefcase.

The street lit up blue and the group vanished.

"Really?" Five muttered as they landed once more, this time in a small town, far too close together to be real.

"Uh, this is the set of that movie I did with Sandra Bullock." Allisin whispered, she looked around before ushering them into one of the set houses. It was small, just one room. "We never ended up filming in here." She explained. 

Five was swearing up a storm, he seemed to be trying not to throw the Briefcase against the wall. 

"You should take a few deep breaths." Ben said to Five, who responded to him with an angry glare. 

Dave opened the door a little to peek outside, Klaus leaned over him to look as well, gasping in shock. 

"No way! Sadra Bullock is right there!" He whisper-shouted. 

"This isn't the time, Klaus." Allison said with an eyeroll, but she didn't miss the way both Patch and Diego snuck a look outside the window to see her talking to a producer.

"I wonder if she'd sign my shirt…"

"Probably, but how would you explain being here if you ran into me?" Allison asked.

"I don't know. I popped up in weird places all the time." He admitted. 

"I'll get you her autograph when we get back." She promised. Klaus let out a sigh, but agreed nonetheless.

"One more time." Five prayed, motioning for everyone to gather around.

Now they were in the middle of a dingy alley-way. 

Five sighed, looking around "Maybe the date is right." He muttered 

Klaus let out his own sigh, looking around absently. The alley seemed familiar enough, he probably spent a night or five tucked away in here.

"K-man!" A voice called, the man attached to it stalking over and pulling Klaus into an awkward hug. "When did you get out of rehab?"

The others looked at each other, then back to the man who walked up to them. 

Klaus blinked, eyes wide as he glanced towards Ben, more out of habit than anything else. "Uh, what's the date?"

"Uh… January? I dunno man."

"Year?"

"Shit… oh, 2016! Right, new year. You look good, hey. That book, man. That shit's crazy." He said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. 

"Book? Oh…  _ Oh _ ." Klaus frowned, it must have come out recently. "Thanks man, catch ya later." He said, clapping him on the back.

The man stood there looking dazed for a moment before giving them all a goofy smile, and a wave.

"Why is it so off?" Five frowned. "Maybe it doesn't have to do with the year?" He muttered.

They heard a crash and swearing. Klaus laughed, "Oh he just walked into a dumpster, that's great."

"Sometimes I really don't understand you, Klaus." Luther said.

Klaus shrugged, making a noise reminiscent of 'I don't know'. 

"Ok." Five said.

Another flash flash they were in a school. They heard two voices shouting at each other.

"That's Diego and me." Patch said. "When you first got kicked out, I guess."

Another flash of blue and they were in the kitchen of the Academy. 

Grace and Pogo were nowhere to be seen, nor Reginald.

"I really hope this is the last time." Hazel muttered, scratching his neck.

Patch nodded in agreement, resting her head on Diego's shoulder.

"Do you hear anything?" Ben asked Vanya. 

She closed her eyes, trembling slightly as she focused on any potential sounds. "Mom's vacuuming upstairs." She said, leaning into Allison. "Pogo is in his room, I think. I don't hear anyone else."

"I'll be right back." Five said, handing the Briefcase to Diego before jumping away.

Diego played with it a bit, fingers brushing over the locks, and jiggling them without opening them.

"I'll take that back, thanks." Five said, blinking and snatching the Briefcase away from Diego, who held up his hands as if to proclaim innocence. 

Five had returned with another newspaper. "Still off, but we're in the right year." He said, pointing to the date, April 1st. 

"And we're in the right timeline?" Luther asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I don't see any mermaids." Klaus said, looking around as if one would just be in their kitchen. 

Dave furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, and Hazel mouthed 'mermaids?'

"Positive, I remember this paper, I was keeping track of it the first two months we were back. It's the exact same one." Five promised.

Klaus nodded, "Oh, excellent." 

Five nodded, blinking all of a sudden, gathering ingredients to make a sandwich.

"Great, so we're good, right?" Diego asked, pulling Patch into a hug, resting his chin on her shoulder.

The air around them stilled, suddenly. Five had taken a bite of his sandwich when he heard three separate gun clicks.

"Not exactly."


	7. A Battle Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight, a loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the newest tags, just in case.

Five could feel the cool metal of three gun barrels against his head.

No one moved. "You had to have known Temps Aeternalis would have never let you continue living peacefully." The gun-holder said. "My predecessor was weak, stupid. She let herself get… attached." They said.

Five swallowed anxiously, looking at his siblings. Allison was staring at the person to his right. "C...Carole?" Her mask must be off if Allison could recognize her. Five wasn't sure what the relation was, but his sister sounded hurt over the revelation.

Klaus laughed hysterically, "Holy shit, you're that dumb t.v. show host."

"Not so dumb." She said with a smirk.

"Leonard…" Vanya whispered, and Five tensed, glancing to the figure on the left. He seemed larger, the man who attacked the earlier, probably, but larger than when they initially 'met'.

"I don't really know  _ you _ . But I still suppose it's good to see you." Harold Jenkins said with a twisted smirk. "S'funny, you were gone too long to really attach myself to you, but your siblings. I'm going to enjoy my revenge." He said. 

A long tentacle appeared and slammed Harold into the wall, a knife flew through the air, landing into the shoulder of the person directly behind Five.

Three gunshots rang out as Five blinked out of the way of them just in time. Two embedded themselves safely in the walls, one in the fridge door.

He heard the sound of another gun go off, firing rapidly in the direction of the three Temps agents. 

"I heard a rumor you left us alone!" Allison called over the noise of fighting. 

The new Handler and the two agents stilled a moment, and Five let out a relieved sigh before Carole laughed, body slamming into Allison, sending them both to the floor.

"Nice try." The Handler said, pulling their hair away from their ear, revealing a small earbud. "I won't tell you how I control them of course, but they are incredibly useful for filtering out unwanted noise." They said looking at Allison.

Luther grabbed a chair, throwing it at the Handler, but Harold easily blocked it with a grin. "Nice try, but you're not the only one here with super strength,  _ Spaceboy _ ."

"No, he isn't." Hazel agreed, running after Harold.

Ben pulled Harold and Carole off his sister and Hazel, sending another tentacle to the Handler. They held out a small device and Ben seized up, and swiped at the tentacle with it.

Klaus rushed towards Ben, and Vanya pushed back with her powers.

"Was that a taser?" Klaus asked incredulously. 

Ben collapsed, Klaus just barely catching him.

Five blinked towards Ben, teleporting him to safety. Klaus hid behind a mildly confused Vanya, who was still trying to push back against the Commission without losing complete control, again. 

In seconds the room lit up blue, as screaming corpses flooded the kitchen. "Klaus, are you-"

"Sssssh." He hissed, focusing his energy on controlling them. Manifesting, corporealizing, he had gotten a knack for with practice, but full on control? Vanya watched as the ghosts seemed flounder for a minute, before focusing on Carole, who had gotten back up first, and the Handler, who was reloading their gun to start shooting again. 

Dave took to watching them from the back, keeping his own gun trained the trio, as were Patch and Diego.

Vanya focused on the sound of the gun being reloaded, pulling it away from the Handler, and tossing it away just in time for a particularly angry ghost to swipe at her.

"Uh, Klaus-" 

But he was too focused to hear anything. 

"Shit." Luther muttered, ducking under a ghost as it went in to grab his throat.

Vanya looked behind her, Dave was crouched down talking to Klaus gently.

Soon everyone was distracted by the ghosts overcrowding the kitchen.

"Luther!" Five called, extending a hand as he wrestled with the half-broken man still going for his throat. They teleported quickly to where Ben was, away from the fight. "Hold on to this I'll get the others." He said handing Luther the Briefcase before blinking away. 

He came back with Hazel and Allison, and then Diego and Patch. 

The ghosts crowded around Klaus the most, whatever control he had over them not enough to keep them from being attracted to him above the others. 

"He's having trouble getting them to go away." Dave said. 

"Where'd they go?" Five asked, noting that Vanya was also trying to calm Klaus down.

"They teleported out when you started pulling everyone away." Vanya said, placing Klaus' right hand over her heart.

"Cowards." Five muttered.

"Hardly." Harold said, grabbing Five roughly by the collar of his shirt.

He grabbed his siblings and Dave, teleporting them out of the kitchen and away from the noise.

Ben was starting to come-to, and Klaus was able to regain some control with the temporary silence, and the faint screaming from the kitchen faded. 

Harold held Five back as the Handler barged into the room, clothing torn, arms and face bloody from the ghost attack.

Harold cocked his gun, and Vanya whipped around. 

Five's jaw ticked. The world seemed to fade into slow motion. There was screaming, and everyone rushed towards Five and Harold.

Klaus reached Five first, trying to pry him free. 

Luther managed to grab onto Klaus, and as everyone piled onto each other, the gun moved.

A shot rang out. A click, a flash of blue.

They were in the Apocalypse again. Five felt something wet on his face. Diego had a horrified expression on his face, tears welling up in his eyes as he collapsed to the floor.

Luther also had blood splattered on him.

Harold was laughing manically as he stumbled back, the Handler and Carole catching him. 

Five looked down at Diego who was kneeling on the ground, Patch gasped loudly, and Five saw what they were looking at.

Harold went for their Briefcase. A knife flew and landed into Harold's eye. Another through Carole's throat.

Time sped up back to normal at last.

"No…" Luther said quietly. Allison screamed, Vanya let out a sob. Ben doubled over, throwing up into the rubble.

Dave stood there, mouth open in a silent scream.

Klaus lay dead on the ground, a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead.

"Well, this wasn't what I wanted, but c'est la vie." The Handler said, crouching down. They grabbed Klaus and they were both gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Klaus is ded, RIP.


	8. A Pause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interim between Klaus' death and the Hargreeves & Co trying to find his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is crap, but necessary!
> 
> Also I just wanted everyone to take a shower or something.

"Th-they t-t-took h-h-him." Diego whispered, voice hoarse, hands shaking.

"They took Carole and Jenkins too." Five said, finally realizing the other two were also missing. He was trying to push back the bile rising in his throat.

He lost.

He wiped at his mouth, staring at the red staining his sleeve. He removed his jacket, wiping his face from blood with it.

He may have wiped away a few tears too.

"Guys…" Patch muttered, gently rubbing Diego's back, visibly shaken. 

"Not again." Luther half-sobbed. He was pale, looking at where Klaus had been laying dead with glazed eyes. He collapsed, his knees weak and giving out on him. 

Ben reached out, putting a hand on Luther's back, burying his face into his shoulder.

"W-we need to find his body." Allison muttered, taking in shallow breaths. Vanya curled into Allison, letting out a stilted whaling sound. 

Dave curled up where Klaus had previously laid, eyes open and unseeing. His cries were loud and pained, his body shaking with sobs, he felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest.

He pulled himself up a little, not looking away from the ground. "He should be able to come back as a ghost, right?" He rasped. "They  _ exist _ so he should be able to come back as one, right?"

Diego coughed, before looking up, eyes red and puffy. "W-we w-wouldn't b-be able t-to see him, Dave. Not  _ without _ him." 

Dave shook his head. "He has to…" he hissed. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, and he leaned into it, another sob escaping him. "Maybe he could still use his powers, though."

Ben looked up slowly. "Maybe…" he muttered, more to himself. "He… he… Where he was shot, I don't know." He murmured, rubbing his face.

Ben hugged his middle, crouching down. 

"We need to get his body back." Vanya said, voice muffled and rough. "We can't let them keep it for… whatever."

"They can time travel, they don't need to steal bodies." Five said. "I don't know what they want with him."

Diego let out a cough, wiping his face. He stood up and took a shaky breath. "He wanted to be cremated. He said it after Ben died…" 

Dave shook his head over and over. Five ran a gentle hand over Dave's back, he could feel the tremors moving through his body.

Or maybe Five was just shaking. 

"Five, you know how to get to the Headquarters, r-right?" Patch asked, hugging Diego around the middle. 

He nodded with a dazed expression. He hadn't expected to see any of his siblings dead a second time. Not like this, at any rate.

"He'd be in the metaphysics division… probably. They can reconstruct bodies, but they still need a person's consciousness. I don't think they  _ start _ with a biological body, but like this…"

Luther blinked, looking at Five. "They can make bodies?"

Five shrugged. "I don't know enough about it. I was never involved with that part of the Commission. The old Handler had started on a new body for me while I was with them. While I was trying to learn who started the Apocalypse." Five added. He let out a sigh, looking down at his own body. "I do wish I was able to get it." He sighed. 

Hazel cleared his throat, stepping forward. "I was there once, recovering from a lost hand. I remember where it was, I think."

Allison eyed him, looking at his hands as if to see if anything seemed off.

"Oh, it still gives me trouble, I'm so glad I don't have to carry that Briefcase anymore." He said, rubbing his wrist. 

"Let's get out of here first, get somewhere more… hospitable." Five said. "Dave we have to go." Five said gently, trying to pull the larger man up off the ground.

He enveloped Five into a bone crushing hug, and they both buckled under the weight. Fove sighed, handing the Briefcase to Hazel before wrapping his arms around Dave. 

When the group finally landed they found themselves in a town, bustling with activity. 

"I really hate this Briefcase." Five muttered.

"We're in Saigon." Dave said, looking around. He hiccoughed, wiping at his face. He looked lost as he watched the people walking in and out of stores and bars. 

"1968." Five confirmed, looking at the newsstand, frowning. 

"Your father took terrible care of Briefcase." Hazel muttered.

"He took terrible care of all of his toys." Patch agreed.

"Maybe…" Five agreed, looking over to Luther, who seemed to have the same line of thought as Five did.

"We… we should find somewhere to stay." Allison said. Diego slung an arm around her.

"There's a hotel… I… it's this way." Dave said, pointing his thumb in the right direction, before walking towards it. "We can clean up, rest for the night." 

Vanya stopped in front of a clothes shop, she looked down at her sweat stained clothes. Her siblings weren't much better, covered in dirt, blood, and debris. 

Ben stumbled into her, sending Vanya sprawling onto the ground. Ben looked at her wide eyed. "I'm so sorry." He said, leaning over to help her up.

"I'm fine. I was just thinking we should get some fresh clothes." she said.

They finally made it to the hotel, Dave handling the clerk, everyone carrying bags of new clothes.

The trudged upstairs, four rooms prepared for the nine of them.

They would try and find Klaus in the morning, and hopefully stop the Commission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically I'm using Time Turner rules, where a person can exist with a copy of themself at the same time, but shouldn't/can't interact.


	9. A Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more time traveling, and a phone call.
> 
> Also Dave punches Reginald by accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... entire scene went completely differently when I first wrote it, but in combination with last chapter, and A Road Well Traveled I kind of had to change it. I will.. potentially rewrite THAT story into a separate fic/AU fic...
> 
> Or maybe I'll turn Inside Temps Aeternalis into generalized one-shots/AUs/background stuff entirely and post that there.

Diego was the first one awake, careful not to disturb Eudora as she slept. The spare bed they had for Dave was empty too.

Heading outside for some fresh air, he spotted Dave and Ben sitting on a couple of chairs outside the hotel. They were talking quietly to each other, Ben looked up, waving Diego over. 

Diego gave a grunt as his greeting, taking a seat next to Dave. The sun was barely peeking out over the horizon. "Klaus and I would usually take watch so we could sit and watch the sunrise." Dave said. "I know it was just because he had trouble sleeping here, but…"

Ben shook his head. "Not  _ just _ because."

They remained quiet after that, sitting out there until well after the sun had risen.

Allison spotted the trio, watching them for a minute before calling to them. "We've been looking for you guys, Five's having a fit because he wanted to leave by now." Allison said.

"Tell him I'm not doing anything until we eat." Diego said, finally getting up.

Allison snorted "I didn't say we  _ were _ leaving now. Luther hasn't eaten since breakfast yesterday, you think we didn't tell Five off?"

Diego chuckled, nudging Dave to get up, Ben following suit. 

\--

The group headed into the city, led by Dave who seemed more refreshed now that he was showered and changed.

The clothes they were wearing were, well Allison picked them out with Vanya. Diego felt a little ridiculous wearing a solid yellow tee-shirt that had a turtleneck, and high waisted pants, but not nearly as ridiculous as Luther looked wearing a candy striped shirt, and shorts.

Small mercies.

"We can get breakfast here." Dave said, pushing the door open.

Diego stilled begins Dave, eyes wide. He threw an arm out to stop them from entering the restaurant.

Luther stumbled into Diego's back "What the Hell, Diego."

"Dad's in there." He said, pulling Dave out of the store by the back of his shirt. 

Hazel looked around at the group absently, fiddling with the buttons on his Hawaiian shirt. He didn't seem to know why they had stopped, but Five pushed forward to get a glimpse of their father.

He seemed to have found what he was looking for, letting out a scoff. "He has it." Five said, trying to push the group back and away from the diner. "We should go, I don't want him to recognize us, and if he's here, that means he's here to kill you." Five said, looking at Dave.

Dave let out a huff, nose flaring in disgust. His face changed as a realization crossed his mind. Diego looked at him, knowing what he was thinking.

"We can't interfere." Five said. "Normally I wouldn't give a shit, but we can't this time, we aren't projecting our consciousness onto our old bodies, we're existing at the same time."

"But if Klaus is alive here, we can bring him with us, right?" Eudora asked.

Diego nodded, pointing to Eudora.

"It's not the same Klaus, not yet, anyway." Five said. "Our timeline is stable but if we interfere like this I don't know what'll happen."

"So we're going to let dad ruin this Klaus' life? That's total bullshit!" Diego hissed.

"I  _ know _ , but… shit." Five muttered.

Reginald stood in front of the group, eyes wide. 

The Hargreeves and company stared back in shock at being confronted by Reginald Hargreeves. 

"How are you all he-" and suddenly Dave cut him off with a hard punch to the face, sending the man sprawling to the ground, face already beginning to bruise.

Diego turned to Dave with a look on his face that indicated that he just fell madly in love with the man. 

"Oh, you  _ are _ just as insane as the rest of us." Allison said, hand rising in the air with an exasperated gesture.

In the background Luther could be heard muttering "Why did you do that?" as he paced back and forth, head in his hands.

"You just punched our dad in the face." Vanya whispered in awe.

"Klaus would have  _ loved _ this." Be muttered.

Dave looked a bit sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck. "You said he shouldn't know we were here… I panicked."

"He panicked!" Allison said, raising her eyes.

"I also said we shouldn't  _ interfere _ ." Five said, looking down at Reginald, clearly more amused than angry. He bent down, looking at Reginald's Briefcase, and standing it next to theirs. His Briefcase was much newer in appearance, less beat up and scratched. 

Five moved the dials on both to match. He watched as the dials on his Breifcase move on their own to a date in 1988, but their Father's Briefcase stayed the same.

He frowned a bit at that. "I thought he had set the dates up to travel to specific points in time, but maybe it is just wear and tear." Five said

Five bit his lip before making the decision to switch the two.

"The old asshole has more time to fix his Briefcase than we do." Five concluded.

He took a deep breath, setting the date on the Briefcase to take them to Commission Head-Quarters. 

They could wing it.

He hoped.

"I think your dad has a safeguard on the Briefcase." Hazel said, looking around the city they ended up in. It was definitely too modern to be the 1950s… 

"Fuck." Five said kicking at the stand of a payphone.

"We can fix it." Hazel said "I did some tinkering in the past, trying to make the Briefcase lighter, maybe we can figure out what he did to it." Hazel suggested.

"The longer it takes, the more chances the Commission has to…"

"Be evil megalomaniacs?" Eudora replied helpfully.

Five pointed at her in agreement. 

Suddenly the pay phone began ringing. Vanya startled, the lightbulb in the street lamp above them exploding above them. 

Five looked to his family (and Hazel). "What if it's them? I'm so stupid, I didn't check for tracking devices." Five said, running his hands over his man, many pockets.

"What if we just answer it?" Luther asked, shrugging. 

"Brilliant, Lutherx just answer i- Really?" Five said incredulously as Dave picked up the phone. 

He put the phone to his ear, face slowly morphing into one of shock, tears welling up in his eyes? "K-Klaus?"

The Hargreeves all stared at Dave.

"Darlin'? Oh my G-d." He said, slipping to the ground. "Are you ok?.

"Wait, Klaus?!" Ben said, racing towards Dave, crowding around him trying to hear the conversation. 

The effort was wasted, and suddenly everyone was crowded around, trying to say  _ something.  _

Dave waved them all away, accidentally smacking Diego in the face in the process.

Any amount of love he had for Dave was gone now.

"I can't hear him over your screaming!" Dave said, cradling the phone gently. 

Dave listened intently to whatever Klaus was saying, nodding a bit. He wiped at his eyes, trying to push back tears. 

"He said he isn't sure what's going on right now, but his body is alive, even if he's not in it." Dave said. "And he's  _ in _ the phone? I don't… I don't know."

"Commission phones connect to payphones." Five said. "So whatever is going on it makes sense he could contact us this way…" 

"No it doesn't." Luther said, shaking his head. His face was scrunched in confusion.

"It does, you're just incapable of understanding difficult concepts like this." Five said.

"Did you just call me an stupid?" 

"I would  _ never _ say such a thing." Five assured, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Diego cackled at the fake look of innocence Five plastered on his face.

Luther huffed, crossing his arms. 

"Uhm, excuse me, but I need to use the phone." A kind faced lady said, smiling brightly. 

Dave looked up at her, clutching the phone tightly in his hand.

"Just a moment, please." Five assured, crouching down next to Dave. "Ask him where he is in the Commission." Five said quickly and quietly.

"He said he didn't l know the exact room." Dave said. "But it seemed like a hospital room?"

Five nodded, just as the kind, portly woman let out a little cough to gain their attention.

Dave looked at her, noddin. "I have to go, darlin'... Y-yeah, we'll… figure it out." He said swallowing a lump in his throat. "Ok… I love you too. I'm alright, promise."

Dave finally hung up the phone

\--

They ended up in another hotel, the rooms were bigger, connected.

They were all gathered in one, most of them lounging on the floor, trying to find something to watch on t.v.. Vanya and Diego were on the two beds, both asleep.

Allison had no idea how loudly Diego snored. She wished she had a voice recorder.

Allison looked at the table Hazel and Five were bent over, Briefcase guts everywhere.

"This is going to be a long night." Allison said with a deep sigh.


	10. Telecommunication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Klaus, and the Briefcase gets fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think what I'm going to do is end this story here, and make Klaus' rescue and subsequent Comission shenanigans into a separate story :3.

Everyone had fallen asleep in the same room, piled on top of each other despite having extra rooms to spare.

There were still Briefcase parts on the table, but most of it was back together.

Luther was the first to wake up, body cracking as he pulled himself off the floor. He stretched, more bones cracking.

He went into one of the other rooms to do his usual morning routine, carefully tip-toeing around his sprawled out siblings. He gave Vanya and Diego an envious glare, before leaving a note taped to the door, and closing it gently behind him.

Stretches first, especially given the cramped sleeping arrangement. Push-ups, of course, maybe squats.

He was sitting on the floor, reaching for his toes when he heard a voice coming from the t.v.

This was strange only because the television was set to a music video channel, and this part of the song was purely instrumental. Luther frowned, looking at the screen, eyes bugging out.

"Oh, thank goodness you're paying attention. Apparently I can like… possess electronics now?" Klaus said, waving to Luther emphatically, as the singer started back up again.

"Wait, you're…"

"Yeah, keep up big guy. Go on, go get the others, I can keep this up for awhile, no one was even  _ in  _ this room." Klaus said, waving Luther away, before going over to try and poke the nearest band member. He failed and Klaus frowned at that. 

"Right…. GUYS!" Luther called, stumbling to his feet, and rushing through the door. "Guys, wake up now, Klaus is on the television!" Luther said Luther dumbly, nudging Allison with his foot, and shaking Diego awake.

Luther easily dodged the knife that came flying at him, before moving on to Ben. 

"What do you mean he's on t.v.? Allison is the actress in the family. Even if she is mediocre." Five said through a heavy yawn. "Ouch." Five added as a pillow slammed into his face.

"I mean he's like… in the television. I don't… he's just there."

Luther ran back into the room to make sure he wasn't just hallucinating, but Klaus was still there, pushing his hand against the glass absently, giggling at the static that occured as he did so.

Luther felt himself being shoved out of the way, Luther landing on his elbow. "You need to stop doing shit like this." He said, moving out of Dave's way as the man kneeled in front of the television. "That really hurt." He said with a frown. 

His complaint fell on deaf ears, as the two began talking, or really flirting, would be a better word. He figured he could give them the five hours it'll take everyone else to get ready.

Luther was exaggerating but he felt he made a good point.

Everyone shuffled in much more calmly, Patch and Hazel taking the rear.

"Klaus!" Ben said excitedly, moving to sit on the floor next to Dave.

Luther could see  _ Dave _ didn't get pushed out of the way. Or Ben. Or anyone  _ else  _ for that matter.

"How were you able to call us yesterday? Or do this today. " Vanya asked, still half asleep.

"I'm like… alive, but I'm not in my body right now. I think I can do it, I felt my hand go through my body, but I didn't actually go back. I think it's a bit safer not to at the moment." Klaus said with a shrug. He started poking his finger through the television again, stopping as his finger actually went through the screen.

Klaus blinked, slowly pushing his whole hand through. "Woah." He slowly pulled his body through, but as soon as his second foot left the television he disappeared.

"What the fuck?" Diego asked, looking at the others, as if they could clear up the situation. 

And suddenly Klaus appeared again, one foot in the television, arms raised in victory. "Great, I knew that. Can't see me when I'm not in the television, got it." Klaus said, making finger guns.

Dave reached out to take one of his hands, Klaus moving to meet it Dave's hand went through Klaus', becoming static in the process. Klaus and Dave both looked devastated. "We'll be together for real soon, you guys just have to come get me." Klaus said, smiling softly. 

"Wait, you can tell us where you are?" Five asked. "You can move around when you're not connected, or-"

"I'm sorry but how are you alive?" Allison asked.

Ben blinked slowly. "Well… he's died and come back  _ before _ …"

"What do you mean he's-"

"Came back  _ before?! _ "

"How do you die more than once!"

"Woah woah! Focus guys. I hit my head  _ really _ hard, died, talked to dad, came back.  _ This _ time I got shot in the face, died, talked to dad blah blah blah."

"You talked to dad… again?" Luther asked.

"Trust me it wasn't anything worth repeating. My point was that… wait…"

"You're a zombie." Dave supplied. 

"Right, wait no I'm not… wait… Am I a zombie? Holy shit I am! Wait no. I'm Jesus! Someone get me some water!"

"To turn into wine or walk on?" Ben asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Both, obviously. Though I will not be partaking  _ thank you _ . I hope this doesn't put a damper on our relationship, babe."

Dave shrugged "Nah, it's cool." He agreed, smiling softly.

"When did you die before?" Vanya asked, raising her hand above the crowd, jumping to be seen over it. 

"When Luther went to that rave… and like twice while overdosing  _ at least _ , but I don't know if that counts as my powers or dumb luck."

"Wait, I didn't see anything… was… when?" Luther asked, carefully walking towards Klaus.

Klaus shook his head. "No, some asshole. Oh, Lottie's boyfriend! Ex-boyfriend, but yeah, him. He went to go fight you for uh… 'getting to know' her. I stopped him by uh… being thrown to the ground."

"Klaus, I'm…" 

"You're good big guy." Klaus assured. He patted his shoulder, hand going staticky every time he tried touching him. "Anyway, I think I'm astral projecting, which I  _ thought _ was a load of bullshit, but uh… I guess my powers showed me, huh?"

Silence.

"How did you know which t.v. to go through, or phone for that matter?" Five asked

Klaus shrugged "Not sure, maybe you guys are just loud? Or maybe it's the power of  _ love. _ " He gave a deep sigh, fluttering his eyelashes.

Klaus glanced back, folding himself into the television. "Shit, I have to go. I'll be back in a bit-"

"Wait! Try and figure out which building you're in, once we get the Briefcase working we'll come get you." Five said quickly.

"Got it! I, yeah they're coming in here, I'll be back!"

And Klaus was gone again.

"We'll work on the Beiefcase in here, someone get food." Five said, waving them all off.

Diego huffed, leaning into Patch. Vanya flopped onto one of the beds, staring at the ceiling. "So we're just going to pretend Klaus getting shot in the head isn't lethal, and it's totally normal he's alive?" 

"It's weird, but… Well Klaus is weird." Allison shrugged and sat down next to Vanya, putting her head on Vanya's shoulder.

Ben nodded "But he only just started trying to use his powers more. We didn't know he could even physically manifest ghosts until just before the Apocalypse, and he was only a day and a half sober." 

"Funny, I thought we were getting food… and coffee." Five added as he came back in with the Briefcase, Hazel carrying all the parts in his arms.

Allison, Patch, and Luther went to grab food and coffee, while Ben poked around the room, and Dave, Diego, and Vanya argued over what to watch on television. 

Five, occasionally, threw things at them to get them to shut up.

By the time everyone was full of breakfast, the Briefcase was done.

"I'll be back." Five said, disappearing. He reappeared seconds with a note clutched in his hand. "I'm back, Agnes wanted me to give you this." He said, handing the paper to Hazel. 

"I love you, tweety. There will be doughnuts waiting for you when you get back. Not vegan ones. XOXO. Wow, she's… she's amazing, isn't she?" Hazel said, folding the paper and putting it in his chest pocket.

Allison let out a soft 'aww'. "She's so sweet."

"She is that." Hazel agreed, letting out a wistful sigh.

The television started to crackle to life, and Klaus appeared, eyes wide and panicked. "They're moving my body. They have some sort… it looks like dad's serum? They think it'll wake me up or jump start my powers." Klaus said quickly. "I think they're on to me, and said they're moving me to room 101, which is  _ not _ my number. But uh… Metaphysics division? I don't…" Klaus kept looking back, to chapter sure no one was coming. "I'm hoping if I can stay out of my body I'll be fine, just hurry up, guys."

Klaus put a hand against the glass, waving gently. Klaus flinched as if he heard something and disappeared into the t.v.

"Alright, no time to panic. We go now, find Klaus, deal with the consequences after." Five said.

"I love when we have a real solid plan." Ben muttered with a sigh. He barely had time to blink before they were sucked into blue light.

They landed on lush green grass, huge buildings. There were people in suits from all different time periods walking around.

"Which building is metaphysics?" Five asked Hazel, hiding the Briefcase in a bush. 

Hazel looked around before pointing to the main building. "It's underground and spreads out through the two smaller buildings." 

Five nodded, clutching on to everyone before blinking into one of the smaller buildings. He looked to see which floor they were on. He was met by an infinity sign.

"There's an elevator." Hazel pointed out, pushing the button. With a bing the elevator doors opened and they all crammed inside, Luther smushed tightly into a corner.

Five moved his arm just enough to hit the button that said "lvl 100", and wiith a whoosh the elevator dropped.


End file.
